For The Guys
Think your girlfriend is pregnant?
Your girlfriend may have said, “My period is late and I’m scared that I might be pregnant! Those can be upsetting words. You may be thinking “it can’t happen to you.” Those are things that happen to others, but not you. You were careful! She was on the pill, depo or you used a condom. Isn’t that fail-proof? No. Every method of birth control has a failure rate. One of the consequences of being sexually active is possible pregnancy. A pregnancy test can show your girlfriend whether her body is producing the hormone hCG that is produced in the body of a pregnant woman. This test must be confirmed though a medical examination before she can be pronounced “Pregnant”. A Woman’s choice offers free pregnancy tests.
How we can help
After the shock wears off, you may begin thinking about what you should do. What are your alternatives and responsibilities as a boyfriend and prospective father? You definitely have some things to think about.
Your options include:
Abandon the woman
– You could abandon your girlfriend though this is not an honorable decision. You may feel that you have an education to think about. Maybe you want to see the world. Will you feel proud of this decision in five, maybe ten years down the road?
Our actions have consequences and responsibilities. Have you ever felt abandoned during a difficult time in your life? Your girlfriend and your baby need you now. Whether you want this baby or not, you are still a father. Maybe your father was not available for you. You can break this pattern of abandonment with this relationship.
Abort the baby
– This option carries traumatic consequences, not only for the baby, but also for the mother and father. This may seem to be an option that hides the fact that your girlfriend is pregnant. You may think that the “problem is gone”. However, evidence-based research has shown that many men and women suffer traumatic consequences called post abortion trauma. They are filled with guilt and shame, regretting the choice they made. This child is a life. It is not an extension of your girlfriend’s body.
Society will tell you that this life is just a piece of tissue and this “simple procedure” will eliminate all your trouble. Think again.
Life happens. Mistakes are made. We have to live with our mistakes.
Help place the baby for adoption
– Adoption is a loving choice. Depending on the circumstances involved, this difficult decision may be the best one for your baby. Perhaps your girlfriend may decide that this option is one she wants for the baby and you feel like your baby is being abandoned. Think again. Adoption is making a plan for your child that will give it the future you may not be able to provide.
Adoption agencies and attorneys thoroughly screen families. Adoption has changed for the good. Open adoption allows you to have communications and pictures of your child. If you want, you can register with the state so that your child can find you when he/she turns 18. What would you say to your child when he/she finds you? You have 18 years to think about this, but you might begin with, “Your mother and I loved you and chose to give you a chance at a wonderful life.”
Agree to help parent the child
– Taking responsibility for your actions and providing support for your child is a noble and commendable action. This choice takes into consideration what is in the best interest of the child, when the decision has yet to be made to marry your girlfriend.
Marry, and raise the child together
– The most loving act that you can do for your child is to commit to its mother. Commitment to each other, wanting to be a family and working together is the best option in these circumstances. Every child has the right to have both a father and mother in the home. If your child could choose to have their father there, it would choose you.